Rhymes of Life

Language.

2011-09-05T21:20:00.001-07:00

What language is thine, O sea?
The language of eternal question.
What language is thine, O sky?
The language of eternal silence.

... 海水呀，你说的是什么？
是永恒的疑问。
天空呀，你说的是什么？
是永恒的沉默。

-Rabindranath Tagore

When reality becomes a nightmare.

2011-08-31T02:57:00.001-07:00

I didn't want to open my eyes,

fearful that the fairy tale would slip away from my grasp,

tearful that it was a fairy tale of once upon a time,

And when I did,

I felt tears,

my pillow wet from the steady flow of moisture.

The dream was a memory of you and me,

and when I woke up,

reality became a nightmare.

Its sorta true though.

Sweet Serendipity ♥

2011-03-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity
Sweet Serendipity

All credits go to Lee Dewyze :)

♥ Sweet serendipity ♥

And life goes on :)

2011-03-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

I'm alive because I'm living,

I'm alive because I've found the reason to exist,

Now nothing nor nobody can take away this desire to live.

I dunno what's up with me putting that photo here.

That plate of spaghetti was my breakfast.

It starts with a L and ends with an E ❤

2011-02-27T06:56:00.000-08:00

❤

The moment she saw him,

walking down the hallway,

her heart skipped a beat,

perhaps more than a beat,

it felt as if her heart had threatened to stop.

A faint smile touched her lips,

her eyes reflected his lean muscular body,

that strode ever to confidently towards her.

Was it his ego that drew her to him?

Was it his dazzling smile that made her hyperventilate?

Or was it those dark eyes that sparkled mysteriously that hynotised her,

leaving her without a will?

She wasn't sure.

All she knew that was,

she had fallen deep deep down,

in love.

❤

Sorry for this lousy one,
its rather hard to write something about love when a person is not in love.
You get what I mean?

Anyway I'll try my best to update this blog as often as possible.

Left or Right?

2011-02-24T05:21:00.001-08:00

When nothing goes right,
go left.

How true :)

骗人

2011-02-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

我笑并不代表我快乐，

我哭并不代表我伤心，

我只是在用表情骗人而已。

This post is just to show i can finally type in Chinese.
Haha.

Reality

2010-10-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

If this was a dream,

I might have cried;

But this isn't one,

so I'll have to smile.

Cause this is reality.

Harsh cruel reality.

I have to be strong.

I have to go on.

I'm invisible.

2010-10-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

I'm invisible

You can't see me,

smell me,

feel me,

look at me,

You turn your head,

you see the air shimmer,

A sign I'm there.

I'm invisible,

you turn and stare into my eyes,

You think nothing is there,

but I'm always there.

Cause I'm invisible.

XD

Air

2010-10-06T05:41:00.000-07:00

I can't breathe.

Cause there's no air.

I wrote a song.

2010-10-03T00:33:00.000-07:00

As you can see we are the best friends

There is nothing in between of us

We share secrets no one else knows

(Chorus)
Friendship forever

What does it really mean

To be together all the time

And don't understand?

(Chorus)
Friendship forever

How strong our bond will last?

It's just a mystery for us

I hope we're still friends.

We laugh, we play, we gossip and joke.

We cry, we weep, we share our stories.

And that's what friends are for.

(Chorus) x infinity

I've got the lyrics and the melody and half the chords for it.
But I'm damn lazy to write it down.
Ugh.

Here's something I found from the internet.

Friend -- Most of the people that Facebook calls "friends" I call Acquaintances.
Actual Friend -- Someone whom I've had a meal with, or has visited my home.
Real Friend -- Someone who would drive me to the airport at 6 am.
True Friend -- Someone who would get me out of jail.

❤

Heart Broken

2010-10-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

In a quiet room.

Suddenly I hear a sharp piercing sound.

Then I hear glass shattering.

I hear the pieces smashing onto the hard cold floor.

I turn around and check.

Everything is in place.

Nothing is shattered.

Perhaps it was just my imagination.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain coursing through my veins.

The unimaginable feeling.

as if my heart is being ripped apart.

as if a bullet has made its way straight through my heart.

I check.

There's no wound nor is there crimson blood.

This time I know,

it's not my imagination.

What I just experienced

was my heart being broken.

Suddenly inspired by something.

Freak Show

2010-10-01T02:05:00.000-07:00

Laughter.

Shouts.

Jeering.

Teasing.

Crying.

I hear them all.

Sorrow.

Pity.

Disgust.

Glee.

Greed.

I feel them all.

I'm caged in.

I'm tied up.

I'm beaten.

I'm gagged.

Unable to move.

Unable to talk.

Unable to see.

Cause I'm a freak show.

Traveling with a circus.

That's what I do.

Cause I'm just a freak show.

P/s: Yup that's me in the photo.
That's chocolate you see on my lips not poison ^^

You there! SMILE! I'm ordering you to smile!!! :)

2010-09-10T01:55:00.000-07:00

I just want you to smile for me.

Yes?

:)

XD
The author is going crazy.

L.O.V.E. ?.?.

2010-09-10T01:49:00.000-07:00

Somebody tell me what this is all about?

Don't mind me I'm just being silly after watching Letters to Juliet.
❤ it so much!!!

Bitter sweet.

2010-09-10T01:04:00.000-07:00

Can you hear my heart breaking?

She asked with a bitter smile.

Can you feel my pain?

She asked again.

Can you see my tears swelling in my eyes?

She choked.

No he couldn't.

Cause he only had eyes for only one,

and it wasn't her.

Hehe :)

Form 6. Pre-U.

2010-08-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

Form 6. Pre-U.

I’ve often doubted my decision. To tell the truth, like many other students before me, I really doubted my decision to study Form 6. After SPM, most of my friends were packing their bags and heading off to college but only a handful of them choose to take the road not taken. (It’s just an expression, ok?) And I was one of them.

Frankly, I had no idea what to choose. I didn’t have a mind set on what to study. I’m weak in Math, Physics and Chemistry and that just minuses my chances in taking the Science stream. But I love English and Arts, which unfortunately I’ve been told so many times that I won’t earn much if I venture in them. And to make this worse, money is the biggest obstacle. If you lack money, college is definitely a no no. So, I had no choice, the road ahead was foggy, bumpy and with as many obstacles as you can possibly imagine. So I decided, or rather my mum decided being a Pre-U student was the best choice there was. Not that I had many choices.

When I first entered Form 6, I was even more unsure of what stream to choose. Accounts, arts or Science? I seriously took this into consideration since this one tiny decision will affect me and my future. I spent one whole week debating with myself on this, weighing the pros and cons. I have entirely no basics in Accounting which to me seems like a really scary subject. Arts? That’s fine but I really can’t bear to be separated from my friends. Science? Here’s a secret, I cried when thinking about this, yes, don’t laugh, tears and all. Burdened by the fact that this little decision will affect my future and the other fact that I’ll probably be separated from my best friends. But in the end, I did not have the courage to venture into Science, I chose I safer route, Accounts. With no basics, it was a tough and risky choice.

6 Rendah 2, that’s the class I landed in. A friend once told me frankly that that class seemed to be the ‘bad’ class and perhaps the teachers won’t be good. I was really down at that time, agreeing and believing what she said. I have never been in any class besides the first class (Amanah, Science) and just thinking that cause I had no basics in Accounts I was ‘forced’ to go to the second Accounts class. But gradually I came to accept the fact.

Let me tell you, sitting in a classroom, full of new faces and trying to make friends is really hard. Believe me. the last time I tried was when I was in Form 1, so I was out of practice. Besides my former classmates, the rest of the class were from another school and we had nothing in common. It took quite some time to get used to each other and to remember names. But still, I made it, we made it.

My classmates are all nice people, some weird, but we got along quite well. And the teachers were great. In Form 6, the lines between a teacher and a student starts to blur, that’s when a student gets enough courage to ask and seek for guidance and even joke around with a teacher. We joke around during lessons, sometimes things might get a little overboard but still in the end this bond is as strong as ever.

Form 6, Lower or Upper is considered the last time where you’ll have to wear a lousy white & blue uniform, wear a tie, clip your hair properly, not allowed to grow bangs, banned from bringing a hand phone and all those other silly rules. But still, I kept up with everything, thinking that this will be the very last time I’ll be able to enjoy life of being a simple, carefree student. How many times have I said to myself that I really hate school, homework, exams and needing to wake up at 6 in the morning? But deep down, I know this hate is only temporary. I know I’ll one day look back, sigh and say how I miss those golden days.

I truly have learnt a lot during Form 6. I’ve learned that education can come in many ways and doesn’t just revolve around books and exams. I’ve learned many things on and off out textbooks, things that I’ve never known before when I was younger. I’ve learned to not exactly follw rules but to bend them to my will and to grasp that golden opportunity that won’t always present itself to you. I’ve learned that friends play an even bigger role than teachers. Besides copying homework from them (Opps), friends are the ones we turn to and will listen and accompany us all the way. My friends have been with me from the beginning to the end, minus a few squabbles. They’ve taught me so much and I feel indebted to them and how I feel towards them, words cannot express.

Form 6 isn’t just about STPM. It’s really about everything. We get the chance to apply things we have learned from our textbooks. We learn to lead the lower form students in co-curricular activities, organize meetings, R&D (which I think isn’t of much use), do proper planning, writing reports after every activity and also generating proper and mature ideas. We learn to be creative by decorating our classrooms and tables. Seriously, did you know that my class was decorated using just newspaper, cardboard and old sugar paper? And we wrap up our tables with newspaper too!

Form 6 or Pre-U is a time when we get to express ourselves and find our true potential, to clear up the fog ahead a bit and to set a goal. Form 6 is tough but people like us Form 6-sers are even tougher! I have come to accept that my memories here will last forever and that this has shaped and nurtured me even more!

Thank you PRA-U KA2, Pn Chandrika(the best class teacher, ever), G.A.s, and mum (for helping me make that decision)!!!

❤ A side project of mine ❤

I've only realized

2010-08-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

I've only realized that

just seeing you smile is enough to make my heart race.

And hearing you laugh is enough to make me smile.

And listening to your jokes is enough to make my day.

Hey tell me,

is this really what I think it is?

Hey tell me,

am I really falling for you?

Am I?

Death.

2010-07-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

Death.

Is a part of life.
Is part of the circle.
Is the continuation of life.

Death is a horrifying prospect to a living being.

Not being able to breathe again.
Not being able to smile again.
Not being able to cry again.
Not being able to express oneself again in so many ways.

All those things
which a dead and cold body cannot do.
All those things
which a sick man yearn to do.
All those simple things
which a living person neglect to do.

So many deaths everyday.
Due to hunger,
due to old age,
due to sickness.
due to accidents.

So many deaths everyday.
So many souls leaving their family and friends
going back to God's embrace.

So many deaths everyday.
All I'm doing at least is praying that
non of those deaths happen to those that I love.

Human beings are greedy.
And so am I.
I just can't bear the pain of losing somebody dear to me.
Just the thought about it,
chills me to the bone.

Once a healthy, cheerful living person
now an empty void.
All that that's left is only but the memories of once upon a time.

So many deaths all of a sudden.
How many more do we not know about?

We never know what may happen next in life cause fate is cruel.

No specific name for this.

2010-07-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

❤

1.
When I'm closing my eyes,
I lose myself;
falling into the dark abyss.
I'm having a nightmare
but I know you're by my side.

2.
You taught us how to read.
You taught us how to write.
You taught us how to listen.
You taught us how to speak.
Thank you for teaching us the things you know.

3.
You guide us up,
step by step,
to excellency.

4.
The mountain I climb,
Is as high as sun can shine,
You just put me on the top pf the world.

5.
When the night gets cold;
and I'm shivering to death all alone,
you appear like my fairy godmother,
and help me through the night.

6.
When time gets rough and life gets tough;
when the obstacles in life make us miserable;
and when we can't adjust our own sails properly,
you'll guide us patiently through the Seven Seas.

7.
As long as I'm with you,
I'm content.
Cause all I'm after is your laughter.

8.
When I'm all alone in the darkness,
crying my guts out;
you're the spider in the corner keeping me company.

Those above were all made up by yours truly^^
Except for the 3rd and 4th one which I got from Jeremiah's lyrics.
They're for a tiny little book my friend and I are making.

❤

What am I supposed to do without your smile?

2010-07-22T00:45:00.000-07:00

Why did I ever doubt you?

Why did I have to think twice about what you said?

I should have known,

you are my entire universe,

and all I was after was just your laughter.

Nothing ever matters more than you.

Nothing can take my breathe away anymore.

So tell me,

What am I supposed to do without your smile?

Sparks

2010-07-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

Sparks.

They're staring daggers at each other.

They're trying to bite each other's head off.

They're burning with hate.

None of them are giving way,

Each one is as stubborn as the next.

That's their only similar trait.

And a tiny spark, just one tiny spark,

will erupt into a bloody conflict.

Sparks.

Trying. Tried.

2010-07-16T02:05:00.000-07:00

I've tried putting the puzzles together.

I've tried rearranging our photos again.

I've tried recalling your sweet smile.

I've tried singing to your melody.

I've tried,

but nothing is the same again.

Cause we've moved on...

P/s: This is just an old creation...
No new ideas now.

Top of the World

2010-07-16T01:54:00.000-07:00

Top of the world

Something’s over here bothering me,
And it’s kinda tough and makes no time for me,
ABC, 123, all I did, was just see,
And my brain was blank for I was fast asleep,
Lately I’ve been getting many C’s,
But the wonder of you led me up to B’s,
With much faith, and much trust,
In whom you, we believe,
You will guide us all up to excellency,
*I’m on the, top of the world looking,
Down on creations and the only explanation I can find,
It’s the mountain I climb,
Is as high as sun can shine,

You just put me on the top of the world.

Lyrics done by Jeremiah^^

❤ it

perhaps.

2010-03-24T06:32:00.000-07:00

Perhaps...

if life wasn't so harsh,

if life wasn't so cruel,

she would have had a chance.

P/s: *sigh* School sucks.

Help?

2010-03-20T06:31:00.000-07:00

Its like I'm bleeding to death!

Help!

Though I doubt you'll understand what I mean.

P/s: Yes, that's me in the photo. = =

A friend.

2010-03-19T04:37:00.000-07:00

This post is written for a friend.
I hope she sees this.

That day on MSN
I knew what you were trying to say.
I just didn't want to admit it.

You said that we have reached to a point where words can't seem to form between us.
Where thoughts can no longer be exchanged.
You told me about our old photos.
That somehow we've forgotten how it used to be.
That now what's left are only old photos.
There's nothing left but only memories.

You told me our friendship seemed to be fated.
But now we've started walking different paths.
Nobody seems to be doing anything to save this relationship.
Nobody has the strength to do so.

You told me you have found better friends than me.
And I have too.

But truth to be told.
I don't quite agree with you.
I haven't found better friends than you.

Did you know that
Among so many friends
you and I have the most in common.
Really.

Can you remember the times we used to write short stories
and how I liked to correct your grammar mistakes?
And you'll get pissed off?

Can you remember the times I used to force you to read those fiction stories.
And then I'll scold you and warn you to treat my books gently?
And you'll get pissed off too?

Can you remember the times when we used to exchange music scores?
And we'll both try to show off?

Can you remember what we used to do during Physics tuition?
We liked to talk and draw whenever the teacher was teaching.
Hah!

Can you remember the times when I used to tease you about your teeth
and you'll snap at me and say that I'm fat?
I used to hate those moments.
But now,
how I'll want to experience that simple joy again.

We shared so many things together.
And had so much in common.

Did you know that I've always envied you?
I've always envied your smallish neat handwriting.
And your neat way of staking books in front of you.
I loved to read your stories and watch you draw
and then tease you about the flaws.
In fact,
I've always been secretly happy that you like to imitate me.

Even though I never did want to admit it but I thought you were beautiful.
Really.
But I was afraid that will only make you too proud and full of yourself.

The truth is.
We were both too proud to admit all those things to each other.
I bet you feel so too.

When we were together.
I didn't need to search for the right words to say.
They just came naturally.
And we understood each other perfectly, minus the squabbles.
But now,
its not the same with other friends.
I have to be careful with what I say.
I have to make sure I don't say anything stupid.
But with you everything was so natural.

I hope you know how sorry I am.
I hope you know how difficult it is to even type what I think.
I hope you know that I'll always cherish the memories we had.
And I hope you know
I'll always be there for you even though I won't admit it.

Thanks for being my friend.

P/s: Does this post make me sound like a lesbian? = =+

Random~

2010-02-23T05:07:00.000-08:00

Dear HOMEWORK,

I'm sorry to say,

You're not attractive so I'm not doing you!

Blek~

P/s: I found that sentence funny and so I'm posting it here.
Quoted from somebody.

Self inspired

2010-02-21T06:06:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of your voice.

I can't stand it anymore.

So.

I'm turning the volume to the max.

Trying to drown out your voice.

Trying to drown myself in music.

I'm humming the melody.

And tapping to the rhythm.

Ignoring the ache in my ears.

As long as I can't hear a single word you say.

✿♪♪♫♪♪♫✿

Inspired by myself.

I was getting scolded by my mum.

And I put on my earphones and closed my eyes.

Ha!

Riddle

2010-02-02T06:09:00.000-08:00

In the kingdom of the blind;

The one eyed man is King.

This is a riddle.

But I dunno the answer.

Someone tell me?

I'm dying to know.

the world is too small

2010-01-29T06:43:00.000-08:00

The world is a small small place.

I wish it were bigger.

So I wouldn't meet people I know.

I want to stand on a street.

Walk down an alley all by myself.

Not recognized by anyone.

I just want to listen to my own footsteps and my own thoughts.

I don't want to see another set of familiar eyes staring at me.

Please, enlarge the world.

What made me write this?
Cause I met a ex-schoolmate of mine.

catch up with me

2010-01-29T06:41:00.001-08:00

You have to do your best and run faster so you can catch up with me.

A sentence that made my heart ache.
Cause it wasn't meant for me.

Sometimes things are never meant to be.
Just keep striving Ning^^

Secrets

2010-01-28T05:57:00.000-08:00

Secrets.

Something secretive.

I've been told so many secrets in just a week.

i can't keep up with them.

I'm really afraid I just might leak.

please don't tell me anymore secrets.

It feels horrible.

I don't want to be the one responsible.

P/s: Sorry, I didn't mean to blab.

Misunderstanding

2010-01-28T05:04:00.000-08:00

Two good friends.

And a misunderstanding in between.

They're not talking to each other.

Just because of that stupid misunderstanding.

Oh come on, just apologize.

We feel weird being stuck in the middle.
AGAIN.

= =

Right and wrong are not what separates us and our enemies, it's our different standpoints, our perspectives that make us drift apart...

P/s: I didn't mean to blab. Sorry.

What happened in the end?

2010-01-26T05:59:00.000-08:00

Hey.

What happened in the end?

After their argument?

What did mama bear do to papa bear?

What happened in the end?

Get it?

XD

P/s: I'm being very wu liao... Haha

Thoughts 2

2010-01-24T06:12:00.000-08:00

She was in love.

And now she's heartbroken...

Tears are flowing.

What are we supposed to do?

P/s: this is so not about me, k?

Alone.

2010-01-19T05:47:00.000-08:00

I glanced to my right.

And saw them sitting in a group.

Smiling, chatting, sharing secrets.

I look down I see the notes of a lonely girl.

All alone.

With no true friends.

No one will accept her for who she is.

No one not even herself.

I couldn't care less.

2010-01-19T05:42:00.001-08:00

I'm dancing with my hands

and you're laughing with your eyes.

It's a crazy world,

But I don't care.

I couldn't care less.

Are you that copy cat?

2010-01-19T05:36:00.001-08:00

There's a cat in the midst.

Pawing its way through.

Copying my every move.

Unseen. Unheard.

I'm upset and pissed...

Thoughts

2010-01-14T06:42:00.001-08:00

The wind has blown away the sand,

I'm left with an empty hourglass.

So tell me, will time stand?

Teach me

2010-01-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

Teach me to smile, she said.

And I'll teach you how to cry.

Teach me to sleep, she said.

And I'll tell you how to wake.

Teach me to dream, she said.

And I'll teach you how to spread your wings and soar.

Teach me to dance, she said.

And I'll teach you how to sing.

Teach me to yell, she said.

And I'll teach you how to whisper.

Teach me the things you know;

And I'll repay you with everything you seek.

In the end, he taught her how to love.

Aims

2010-01-14T06:27:00.001-08:00

The higher you aim,

The higher you will fall from;

A risk so many have taken,

and never regretted.

But I have.

Messsage to me

2010-01-14T06:13:00.000-08:00

A sparrow perched on my window sill.

And smiled at me.

:)

A message to myself^^

Cheer up, Ning~

Lotsa homework doesn't mean its the end of the world.

Falling.

2010-01-12T06:47:00.000-08:00

I dreamt that I had wings.

I dreamt that I could soar and touch the sky.

But my wings,

they shattered and blew away.

Feather by feather.

And I was left falling.

Somebody catch me from bellow?

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

P/s: I wrote this whilst having Accounts tuition.
XD. Blek~

Pain less.

2010-01-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

My dream has shattered.

Piercing sharp like glass.

But, I feel no pain.

Stuck in the MIDDLE

2010-01-07T05:58:00.000-08:00

I'm stuck in the middle.

In the middle of a rail road.
With two steaming trains approaching from both ends.
Help?

In Kinokuniya.
With Percy Jackson in one hand,
and Harry Potter in the other.
Help?

On a cross road.
With cars honning from behind.
Help?

I do have to choose one.
Must.
And sacrifice the other.

Can't I keep them both?
No.
Can't I befriend both?
No.
They're two different magnetic poles.
So no.

Hurt feelings.
Whilst stuck in the middle.

================❤❤❤================

If you can guess what I'm saying,

Then my friend,

I'll tell you,

'You're a genius of the heart.'

^^

Perfect Fairy Tale

2010-01-07T05:33:00.000-08:00

I wish I was living in a fairy tale.

Like Snow White and her 7 dwarfs

but

Without the poison apple.

Like Sleeping Beauty, Aurora and her loving parents

but

Without the spindle.

Like Alice and her white rabbit

but

Without the Cheshire Cat.

Like Belle and her prince

but

Without the enchantment of a Rose.

Like Jasmine, Alladin and Genie

but

Without the shadow of a Sorcerer.

Like Cinderella and her glass slippers

but

Without her stepmother and stepsisters.

Like Ariel and her pretty songs

but

Without the curse of Ursula.

Princess in a dream.

I've dreamed it so many times.

And deep down I know,

Dreams were meant for sleeping.

And I know.

Without the curses, enchantments, spells and evil.

A fairy tale wouldn't be a fairy tale.

Like a half told story.

Its just a dream like any other.
A fairy tale like any other.

================❤❤❤================

I had this sudden urge to write something,
While I was bathing.

Strange.

Weird.

So I'm posting something in Rhymes of Life.
The first ever post in 2010^^

My writer's block seems to have disintegrated, dissolved.

So yes.

I'm back.

Hurray!
:D

Coincidences Do Happen in Life

2009-07-04T04:15:00.000-07:00

"A coincidence
is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous."
-Emma Bull-

Coincidences do happen indeed :)

I was on the bus and I saw a girl sitting not far away from me wearing the same shoes as me^^
Bless you~

:)

Hoping more coincidences would happen today^^

Happy belated Father's Day

2009-06-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

You were never one to express your true feelings
You were never one who talked much
You were never one who hugged and caressed me
Nor were you one who asked questions

You are and will always be a stranger in my life
An intimate stranger

You were always in my life
Yet it felt like you were never there
Your presence was but only a ghost
lingering

There have been times when I have asked myself
Who is that stranger opening the door?
Who is that stranger crossing the household?

Even so,
I hope you forgive me for my ignorance,
I hope you forgive me of my errors

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Us

2009-06-28T07:04:00.001-07:00

I'm giving one to you and one to him...
Hoping that our friendship will last for forever and a day^^

\(^O^)/

The changes in you...

2009-06-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

This post is for someone...
But I dunno whether that someone will read my post
Haizzz...

~ + + + + + + + ~

Tell me...
Every time you stare at yourself in the mirror
Have you ever noticed the many changes in you?
Have you?

Perhaps yes, perhaps no
Although you may not have noticed your own changes
But I have, we have!

You have changed over time!
Within months, everything about you has changed!
You no longer have the same air of innocence lingering about
You no longer bare the same facial expressions
We, no longer share the same view points

Everything about you has changed
style
expressions
features
viewpoints
aura
speech
personality

and most of all
your heart has truly changed

Is it for the better?
I do not know
Only you hold the answer to all our questions
Perhaps you are shaping another personality
Reshaping yourself to face tougher challenges in the future

Is this a game to you?
Are you rebuilding a new avatar in a game?
Or are you carving a new mask to hide yourself from the world?

Or may I ask, is this the true you?
Have you taken of your fake mask now
Bathing us for so long in your many lies?
I hope this is not the truth.

You may deny us with excuses
You may say that we are accusing you without solid evidences
You may say that this is time's fault
Is it really?

Is time really that cruel and cold hearted?
Has time caged you with metal bars
and pulled you along the ever changing horizons?
Is it really time's fault that you have changed that much?
Or is that my fault?
If it is then I'm truly sorry.

You may say that we do not truly understand you
You may say that we have no right to call ourselves your friends
You might even be ashamed of us

But let me tell you,
In this world,
no one person can truly understand another human being
No matter how close they are
No matter how many centuries they have spent together
Each person is born to this world
equipped with different personalities and viewpoints
No two persons are they same

Thus, no one truly understands each other

So now let me ask you this one question.
Why have you changed that much in such a short time?
Why?

~ + + + + + + ~

Praises of strangers make your heart flutter,
snide remarks of true friends make your heart wither;
so which do you think I am?

~ + + + + + + ~

P/s: Is our friendship really as brittle as I think it is?

Separate ways

2009-05-15T02:22:00.000-07:00

I dunno what to do now...
This feeling started when I saw the the strange look of yours
You were sitting there with your brows knitted together
A frown formed
I noticed

You told me you weren't sure
You told me bout the uncomfortable feeling that was lingering about
You told me perhaps this decision was the best
At least better than your first

I nodded
I told you to think carefully
I told you to choose what ever you felt was the right choice

Then you told me with such firm eyes
Piercing through me...
You had to choose what was right for you

At that moment,
I felt myself swaying...
My real smile vanished replaced by a fake one
My laughter dimmed by that one decision of yours
But still I put on a straight face
Telling myself that your decision was right

I couldn't bring myself to tell you to stay
I didn't want to be your burden
I didn't want to pull you away from your dreams
But still I was held behind by jealousy and fear
Jealous because other friendships might blossom
Fear because our friendship might fade

I didn't speak of my true feelings
I said only but encouragements
The dark feelings inside my grew
A fake smile on the outside

I knew your decision was absolute
I didn't want to make you waver

I sat in the front seat
Avoiding your gaze
Perhaps you realized, perhaps you didn't
As you got off
I gave a faint smile and waved you off
You didn't realize did you?

My eyes clouded with tears
Blurring my vision
As I watched the traffic lights turn green
The first tear worked its way down
I felt stupid
Why was I crying?

Never have I felt that miserable before
Never had I let anyone see me crying
I wasn't good at expressing my real emotions
Nor was I good at saying goodbye with a heavy heart

I know that that's not really goodbye but still...
I fear for us
I fear for our friendship
I know nothing lasts forever but then I wanted it to...

Perhaps we have reached the cross road of life
We each have chosen the path we have in mind with a heavy heart
I stand at the cross road
to wave you off, to bid you goodbye and good luck
And then we'll go our separate ways...

And I have to learn to accept it...

Good luck, my friend.

Bitter thoughts

2009-05-09T00:22:00.000-07:00

I'm typing this with mixed emotions...

Should I or shouldn't I?

Perhaps yes, perhaps not...

I know I shouldn't let my pride get the better of me...

But I still can't do it...

Should I??

I close my eyes...

Falling into a deep deep hypnotizing sleep

Surrounding myself with vivid dreams and nightmares

I awake feeling refreshed

But that feeling still lingers about

And still the question stays unanswered...

Should I?

Perhaps it is truly time to let my pride down

And tell you I'm sorry?

But I don't think it's my fault.

Doesn't apologizing mean I'm giving up?

Doesn't it mean I'm weak?

I've never liked to apologize...

Am I being ignorant still?

Should I let my pride get in the way?

So should I?

I'm pacing back and forth in my room

repeating the same question again and again...

My lips tasting the bitterness of my heart

Should I?

A feeling of deep regret creeps onto me

A sudden sadness sweeps away my senses

These troubled feelings pain me

Like nightmares of a fevered sleep

Tell me...

Should I?

P/s: This is probably true...

Perhaps I should...

Haizzz...

But I won't say it out loud...
So if you see this... you might know?

Reminiscence of the past

2009-05-04T21:29:00.001-07:00

I'm waiting...
waiting along the abandoned railway track
waiting for what, I do not know
perhaps I'm just standing there
hoping that time will take me away
far from this harsh cruel reality

I'm sitting on the platform
humming the tune of an ancient lullaby
I have long forgotten the words
only the sweet, eerie melody remains
sometimes haunting me
chilling me to the bone

I close my eyes
hypnotizing myself with my own voice
indulging myself into nightmares of the past
when I reopen my swollen eyes
I find myself staring at shadows of the past
people from another time

Strangers in long fur coats
walking, strolling, talking, staring...
none of them spared an eye for me
just staring through me, icily
As if I wasn't there
Was I?

I hear the noise of a locomotive
advancing towards the station
I see the white smoke unfolding itself from the exhaust
curling itself to form a white flag for the locomotive

The vision seemed so real
so close to the reality I had learned to hate
But everything in it was mute and numb
no one showed emotions
nor did I see any

When I rubbed my eyes
slowly, those ghostly figures disappeared
Swallowed up again by time
Was that my imagination?
Or did it really happen?
I ask myself.

And again
I'm left alone with my own fears and tears
I ask myself again...

What am I waiting for?

Comments, yes? :)

Keys of black and white...

2009-05-02T04:35:00.000-07:00

I'm seeking for my one true sanctuary,
in this numb world of black and white;
say,
why don't you join me on this quest?
:)

The sky~

2009-03-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

I wonder how it feels to be high up in those clouds looking down?

The sky looks so peaceful...

Fluffy white clouds floating above our heads

the sun peeping out from a corner

Perhaps laughing at us

calm and at peace with itself

But at times it roars with rage

Striking it's fists everywhere...

Screaming and cursing

then it softens into rain...

Pouring down endlessly...

Sometimes the sky turns a gloomy grey

As if sad and unhappy

But at night it becomes peaceful again...

As if the tantrums never happened...

Emotions after emotions

It's still the same

It's still looking down and laughing at us^^

I wanna be free like the sky!!!

See that BIG goldfish??!!!
Someone get a net and catch it for me!!!
Please...
Pretty please~

P/s: Sorry for not updating you bloggie...
Hehe^^
Ran out of ideas to write...
= =

Forbidden Lust

2009-01-07T19:36:00.000-08:00

I close my eyes tight

Another sleepless night has come

The moon shines so brightly

Blinding me

Then

The bed creaks silently

I can feel your presence

I open my eyes

And find you staring so intensely at me

Not a word

You stroke my cheeks

I can feel the warmth channeling through your hands

You leaned against me

Our skin brushing in contact

You planted a wet kiss on my forehead

I shiver slightly

A little afraid yet so eager

You caress me so gently

Fondling me like a child

Slowly and silently

Your daring hands slip cautiously into my clothes

Roaming through the forbidden grounds

I let out a moan

I can see the devilish smile on your lips

Teasing me

Is this a trap?

I ask myself

Have I let my guard down?

Again, you stroke me

I can feel your masculine body against me

I tremble again with eagerness and excitement

You bent forward all of a sudden

The kiss

Featherlight

Like a butterfly

Come and gone

I pulled you towards me

Deepening the kiss

I could feel your sensual lips brushing against mine

The tip of your burning tongue lurking inside me

You tasted hot and sweet

Honeyed wine could not compare

You have triggered something inside of me

Something dark and forbidden...

Ermmm...
I leave the rest to you and your imagination and see where it gets you

This is really embarrassing
>////<

But bare in mind that this is only fictional!!!
If anyone of you can be so foolish to think that that is from my experience
I'll personally tear you part by part and shred you into mince meat!!!
Understood??

I was bored...
Don't blame me
I'm a healthy 17 year old with hormones pumping to the max...
It's normal, nothing illegal...
But if my mum sees this, she'll praise me then skin me alive...
= =

~owari~

~Lively puppets, Lifeless souls~

2009-01-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

She, a puppet

Lively yet lifeless

She, a puppet

Bound by strings that control her every limb

She, a puppet

Strange and sorrowful

How long has she been standing there

Bound by cords that have long snatched away her freedom

How long has she been controlled

Physically and Emotionally

Being robbed off her freewill

Though sad

She may not show emotions

Though she performs freely on stage

She is still caged by strings

Strings and cords that seem like poisonous thorns

Which keep her still

When will she be free?

I wonder...

This is something I came up with...
Say, aren't we all puppets, though we're not controlled by strings
but by money, wealth and power?
Yes??

~owari~

P/s: Comments, badly needed^^

Broken wings

2009-01-05T06:29:00.000-08:00

It is the end of my dream

I have been only a fragment of my own dream

My wings have forgotten how to fly

I have done nothing but pretend to flap my wings

Do my wings have any meaning if I don't use them to fly?

Spiral of Destiny

2009-01-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

Destiny is a spiral

Turning and spinning around

The sun rises and sets

Each day starts with a different pattern

The spiral is always turning

No matter how hard you try to stop it

It will never change

Try listening for the heartbeat of destiny to stop

Try pushing it aside

It is nothing but a game

Those who win will get the chance to make choices

Those who lose can only drift with the tide of fate

Perhaps destiny is really unchangeable

We are just puppets on a stage

With strings on our every limb

Given only one life

Fate

You are cruel and cold

With no sympathy and fear

I shall change my own fate

By turning the clock wheels around

I shall change my future

And change it in a different pattern

... ... Bored?? Haha...
I made this up when I was in Form 2 or so...
Hehe^^
I changed it a bit here and there^^

Spiral, huh??
That's where my name originates from^^

~*owari*~

Loneliness

2009-01-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

The morning breeze caressed my face
Like a mother fondling a child
I opened up my eyes but there was no one there
Like always

Again I woke up from my nightmares and found no one to accompany me
To share my thoughts
my feelings
and my fears
I knew from the second I was brought to this world
I knew I was and would always be alone

I longed to be hugged
And fondled...
By someone
I long for that painful loneliness to go away
That heart breaking grasp of loneliness
How I envy both mother and son playing together under the autumn sky
How I long to share a mug of warm cocoa with my loved one
How I yearn for that warmth of someone

I don't want to be alone
miserable and tearful
All I want is some proof that my existence in this world is needed

Every night I lay down in the hard, stone cold bed of mine
The coldness had only reminded me of how lonely I was
Then I'll cry myself to sleep and drift into a nightmare
At least my tears are proof that I'm still sane

That evening the rain poured
so heavily I thought the roof would fall on me
All I could do was stare at the rain
I sat at the corner with my feet tucked in
I hugged my knees so hard they felt sore

I was afraid
For the first time
I was truly afraid
Not because of the rain
but what I might and would soon become
The silent echoes of the raindrops were driving me insane
My tears were blinding me
Never have I felt so alone

Just then my bedroom door creaked opened
I sensed a familiar scent in the air
I felt the warmth as the person entered
The coldness and stiffness in the air had disappeared

Finally...

I smiled...
I was no longer alone.

Oh don't mind me... I'm just typing gibberrish...
I was feeling kinda emo-ish today
since everyone was at school and at work
I felt kinda lonely... really...
And the song I'm listening to is really sad and lonely
So I decided to post something up on my long forgotten blog... Hehe

I love you bloggie^^
I hope you're not lonely or something
I'll buy you a cup a warm cocoa??

~*owari*~

Clock wheels of Time

2008-12-23T23:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think

What would happen if time stopped?

Would we still be able to live on??

To me

Time is like a melody

When the second or third note is played

The first note fades slowly away

Even though the needle of the clock still stops at the same position

It is never the same again

Although the date of today is the same as last year's today

But it is still different

Nothing can be the same

Indeed

Time waits for nobody

Sometimes it's slow like a snail

Sometimes it's fast like a leopard on wheels

The clock wheels of time are unstoppable

No matter who hard you try

You can never wind back time

Even the strongest man fail to do so

No matter how hard I try to grasp onto time

It still escapes my clutches

All my past memories

Still fade with time...

Hahax
Don't mind me
I was bored so I came up with this lousy junk^^

Moving Targets

2008-12-19T01:42:00.000-08:00

There are so many targets in life

They change often and differ greatly

After one target is achieved

we lose it

And move on further

to another

One either wins or loses

It depends on the person himself

Once you've missed it

There's no turning back

Each target is like a turning point in life

Where we learn to accept new changes

New possibilities

New responsibilities

New people

There are times after one has achieved their target

Which at the same time they lose it

They turn around

and find out that they miss all those turning points

And I do miss them!!!!!!!

Arghhhh!!!

=.=

I really miss those times before and during SPM^^

Now my target is gone and I have to find another one again...

Haizzz...

Fading feelings

2008-12-17T00:24:00.000-08:00

Feelings fade in time

They're fragile

I knew that from the start

But still I told myself it wasn't true

It was a tiny crush

I knew

Whenever he smiled or talked

My heart skipped a beat

My heart thumped so hard on my ribcage

I was afraid he might hear

We laughed, talked, argued, sang

Together

No one knew about these feelings

I kept them to myself

He knew until I told

They knew it too

When he found out

He told me

'It will fade in time'

Perhaps he was right

But I denied it

I wanted it too last forever

But now

That feeling is gone

Faded, gone with the wind

Some things are meant to be

but some are not

Perhaps this is one of those

My feelings are changing with the wind...

p/s: Some of this is true but some aren't^^

Rainy days

2008-12-17T00:17:00.000-08:00

Rain

It has been raining

Perhaps it's because of the monsoon

When it rains

It seems as if the sky is crying

It's tears are falling

The rain droplets signify tears

I feel sad

I try to put on a cheerful smile

But still the sadness remains

Sad memories overflow my mind

My tears flow like the rain droplets

But still

I like it when it rains

Changes

2008-12-17T00:06:00.000-08:00

I know I've changed

Have I changed for the better??

I dunno

Perhaps some have noticed

Perhaps there are those that aren't aware

Everything about me is changing

I've noticed that

I used to like crowded places

I used to like to play the fool

I used to like the noise of life

But now

I've changed

I no longer adore the many expressions of people

I no longer want to be surrounded by people

I want to hide my true self from everyone

My view about the world is different

But I keep these view points to myself

I'm still being cheerful

But that's just a mask on the outside

I may not have changed much on the outside

But deep down I'm feeling cold

I know it in my mind's eye

...I've changed...

p/s: Not everything is true, some are true but some aren't

Insomnia

2008-12-16T23:57:00.000-08:00

When my head touches the pillow

My body feels incredibly heavy

As if there's a weight on top of me

My eyelids are heavy too

They close the moment the lights are turned off

But somehow

my mind is still wide awake

It's still active

Aware of my surroundings

There seems to be a switch that is still turned on

And I can't find a way to turn it off

During the long hours of the night

My body is already numb

But still my mind floats about at the entrance

The feeling of being asleep is like falling into a dark abyss

But now it feels like I'm only floating

Hours pass by

I'm still awake

It feels as if I've injected myself with caffeine

...

...I can't sleep...

Help

Hahax new blog^^

2008-12-16T00:47:00.001-08:00

This is an experimental blog^^
Cause I dare not use my original one for experiments...

Haha...

I think I'll use this one to post my stories...
Yes??

*Rhymes of Life*

Language.

When reality becomes a nightmare.

Sweet Serendipity ♥

And life goes on :)

It starts with a L and ends with an E ❤

Left or Right?

骗人

Reality

I'm invisible.

Air

I wrote a song.

Heart Broken

Freak Show

You there! SMILE! I'm ordering you to smile!!! :)

L.O.V.E. ?.?.

Bitter sweet.

Form 6. Pre-U.

I've only realized

Death.

No specific name for this.

What am I supposed to do without your smile?

Sparks

Trying. Tried.

Top of the World

perhaps.

Help?

A friend.

Random~

Self inspired

Riddle

the world is too small

catch up with me

Secrets

Misunderstanding

What happened in the end?

Thoughts 2

Alone.

I couldn't care less.

Are you that copy cat?

Thoughts

Teach me

Aims

Messsage to me

Falling.

Pain less.

Stuck in the MIDDLE

Perfect Fairy Tale

Coincidences Do Happen in Life

Happy belated Father's Day

Us

The changes in you...

Separate ways

Bitter thoughts

Reminiscence of the past

Keys of black and white...

The sky~

Forbidden Lust

~Lively puppets, Lifeless souls~

Broken wings

*Spiral of Destiny*

Loneliness

Clock wheels of Time

Moving Targets

Fading feelings

Rainy days

Changes

Insomnia

Hahax new blog^^

Rhymes of Life

Spiral of Destiny