Bitter thoughts

I'm typing this with mixed emotions...

Should I or shouldn't I?

Perhaps yes, perhaps not...

I know I shouldn't let my pride get the better of me...

But I still can't do it...

Should I??

I close my eyes...

Falling into a deep deep hypnotizing sleep

Surrounding myself with vivid dreams and nightmares

I awake feeling refreshed

But that feeling still lingers about

And still the question stays unanswered...

Should I?

Perhaps it is truly time to let my pride down

And tell you I'm sorry?

But I don't think it's my fault.

Doesn't apologizing mean I'm giving up?

Doesn't it mean I'm weak?

I've never liked to apologize...

Am I being ignorant still?

Should I let my pride get in the way?

So should I?

I'm pacing back and forth in my room

repeating the same question again and again...

My lips tasting the bitterness of my heart

Should I?

A feeling of deep regret creeps onto me

A sudden sadness sweeps away my senses

These troubled feelings pain me

Like nightmares of a fevered sleep

Tell me...

Should I?




P/s: This is probably true...

Perhaps I should...

Haizzz...

But I won't say it out loud...
So if you see this... you might know?