A friend.

This post is written for a friend.
I hope she sees this.




That day on MSN
I knew what you were trying to say.
I just didn't want to admit it.

You said that we have reached to a point where words can't seem to form between us.
Where thoughts can no longer be exchanged.
You told me about our old photos.
That somehow we've forgotten how it used to be.
That now what's left are only old photos.
There's nothing left but only memories.


You told me our friendship seemed to be fated.
But now we've started walking different paths.
Nobody seems to be doing anything to save this relationship.
Nobody has the strength to do so.


You told me you have found better friends than me.
And I have too.


But truth to be told.
I don't quite agree with you.
I haven't found better friends than you.

Did you know that
Among so many friends
you and I have the most in common.
Really.

Can you remember the times we used to write short stories
and how I liked to correct your grammar mistakes?
And you'll get pissed off?

Can you remember the times I used to force you to read those fiction stories.
And then I'll scold you and warn you to treat my books gently?
And you'll get pissed off too?

Can you remember the times when we used to exchange music scores?
And we'll both try to show off?

Can you remember what we used to do during Physics tuition?
We liked to talk and draw whenever the teacher was teaching.
Hah!

Can you remember the times when I used to tease you about your teeth
and you'll snap at me and say that I'm fat?
I used to hate those moments.
But now,
how I'll want to experience that simple joy again.


We shared so many things together.
And had so much in common.


Did you know that I've always envied you?
I've always envied your smallish neat handwriting.
And your neat way of staking books in front of you.
I loved to read your stories and watch you draw
and then tease you about the flaws.
In fact,
I've always been secretly happy that you like to imitate me.


Even though I never did want to admit it but I thought you were beautiful.
Really.
But I was afraid that will only make you too proud and full of yourself.




The truth is.
We were both too proud to admit all those things to each other.
I bet you feel so too.


When we were together.
I didn't need to search for the right words to say.
They just came naturally.
And we understood each other perfectly, minus the squabbles.
But now,
its not the same with other friends.
I have to be careful with what I say.
I have to make sure I don't say anything stupid.
But with you everything was so natural.



I hope you know how sorry I am.
I hope you know how difficult it is to even type what I think.
I hope you know that I'll always cherish the memories we had.
And I hope you know
I'll always be there for you even though I won't admit it.





Thanks for being my friend.






P/s: Does this post make me sound like a lesbian? = =+