Loneliness

The morning breeze caressed my face
Like a mother fondling a child
I opened up my eyes but there was no one there
Like always


Again I woke up from my nightmares and found no one to accompany me
To share my thoughts
my feelings
and my fears
I knew from the second I was brought to this world
I knew I was and would always be alone


I longed to be hugged
And fondled...
By someone
I long for that painful loneliness to go away
That heart breaking grasp of loneliness
How I envy both mother and son playing together under the autumn sky
How I long to share a mug of warm cocoa with my loved one
How I yearn for that warmth of someone


I don't want to be alone
miserable and tearful
All I want is some proof that my existence in this world is needed


Every night I lay down in the hard, stone cold bed of mine
The coldness had only reminded me of how lonely I was
Then I'll cry myself to sleep and drift into a nightmare
At least my tears are proof that I'm still sane


That evening the rain poured
so heavily I thought the roof would fall on me
All I could do was stare at the rain
I sat at the corner with my feet tucked in
I hugged my knees so hard they felt sore


I was afraid
For the first time
I was truly afraid
Not because of the rain
but what I might and would soon become
The silent echoes of the raindrops were driving me insane
My tears were blinding me
Never have I felt so alone



Just then my bedroom door creaked opened
I sensed a familiar scent in the air
I felt the warmth as the person entered
The coldness and stiffness in the air had disappeared


Finally...


I smiled...
I was no longer alone.

Oh don't mind me... I'm just typing gibberrish...
I was feeling kinda emo-ish today
since everyone was at school and at work
I felt kinda lonely... really...
And the song I'm listening to is really sad and lonely
So I decided to post something up on my long forgotten blog... Hehe

I love you bloggie^^
I hope you're not lonely or something
I'll buy you a cup a warm cocoa??



~*owari*~